A guide to finding the perfect balance between parenting and being their best friend
Have you ever faced situation where your child made a mistake and you didn't know if you should teach them a lesson or just let it go? Its situations like these where parents often find themselves conflicting between being their child’s parent or their friend, and I’m sure as a parent you too must’ve faced this situation.
In today’s time as I see the parents around me, I observe how everyone yearns to be their child’s best friend. However, its equally important for parents to be the ones who set the boundaries for the children and ensure that they are on the right path- which also involves going against their decisions for their own good. So honestly, how do we find the balance between being their pal and guide?Parenting honestly has no set guidelines, but the best we can do is share our own tips and see for ourselves what works for our own families.
1- Be a parent first
Parents of young children often believe that a long term bond of friendship with their children will only be established when the practice is started from a young age. However children are easily influenced, vulnerable and incapable of making the right decisions for themselves at a tender age. At this age, its hence very important to inculcate the right habits in the children and set the required boundaries. It’s when the children become capable of making their own decisions, they start to value why you disciplined them the way you did.
2- Take interest in the happenings of your child’s life
Small habits like asking your child how their day went or keeping up with how things are with all their friends can really help you and your child bond as friends. Share your life experiences with them and take interest in their talks. Also ensure that you give your child the environment wherein they feel free to share things with you. With the changing age, kids are not always up to share all details of their life, and as a parent, you should respect their space and not resort to ways like spying on your children to know all about them. This will not allow them to be as open with you.
3- Influence, not impose
A lot of parents expect their children to hold the same beliefs as them. However it’s very important for us to realise that they are their own individual and you can’t expect to be your child’s best friend if you keep imposing your ideology’s on them. Show them the right path, teach them the necessary values, however, let them develop their own ideologies. Be a positive influence in their lives, not an imposer.
4- Stay updated with changing times
From Instagram to their favourite Netflix show, be open to your child’s preferences and show interest in them, and stay updated with the everchanging world. Not only will this enable you to understand their world better, but will also help you to guide them through it. Hence next time your child is blasting their favourite tunes, sing along!
5- Share, but don’t overshare
Strangers become friends by getting to know each other through the exchange of opinions, life experiences, ideas and interests. Hence sharing information with your child will help them know you better and will make them want to share more personal details of their life with you. However as a parent, you should not overshare sensitive information like all problems in your life as your problems are too complicated for the child. This is dangerous because it really gives your child the message that you are vulnerable and need them to be strong for you.
Balancing both being a friend to your child and a parent can indeed be an extremely challenging task. The next time you find yourself in this tricky position, use whichever approach seems more ideal to deal with the situation in hand- that's possibly the only way to maintain equilibrium!
